


Friends or Lovers?

by Animecosplaygirl



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Abandonment, Adult Gon Freecs, Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Angst, Angst and Feels, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bartenders, Child Abandonment, Eventual Smut, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Heavy Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Mental Breakdown, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Molestation, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Smut, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Stripping, Trauma, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-03
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-14 09:55:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29790198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Animecosplaygirl/pseuds/Animecosplaygirl
Summary: Follow adult Gon through life as a stripper and adult Killua as a bartender!! Both working for their handsy boss Hisoka!! Realizing their friendship may be more than they thought.
Relationships: Gon Freecs & Killua Zoldyck, Gon Freecs/Hisoka, Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck, Hisoka & Illumi Zoldyck, Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck, Kurapika & Leorio Paladiknight, Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight, Tonpa/Other(s)
Comments: 23
Kudos: 26





	1. Assault

**Author's Note:**

> Please enjoy! I will try and update as soon as possible but I have a lot going on!

“Hey Gon! You gonna eat that?” Killua said pointing to the slice of strawberry cheesecake that sit in front of him untouched. They sat in a small cafe as Gon poured himself over a book humming in tune with each word he read.

“Uh no you can have it.” The green haired boy said and Killua gladly took the cake eating it down at an alarming speed his own books laying abandoned on the edge of the table. “We are supposed to be studying you know? The test is a week from now and we need to be ready” spoke Gon glaring at the white haired boy who’s only response was a small ‘hmm?’ And a blank look on his face fork still in his mouth. Gon let out a sigh and rolled his eyes.

“Why do I have to study anyway it’s not like I care if I fail.” The male said and Gon ignored him as they had had this conversation many times before and it was always the same, Gon would explain why it was good to get an education so that they could find jobs and live their life. Then Killua would say something about them already having jobs.

It was true they had jobs but even with those jobs they still struggled to pay for their college education. Gon worked at a night club down the street from the school, he worked as a stripper and Killua also worked there but as a bar tender. At 21 both boys were going to a college in America, overseas from their homeland of Japan. Gon was majoring in dance and minor in theater where Killua majored in technology and minor in technological theater. They only had a few classes together, a math, and a history which they were studying for now, well one of them at least.

The two of them had been friends since they were 12 years old having met at a summer camp and became inseparable ever since, they applied for the same college and did everything together they lived together too, along with their room mates Kurapika and Leorio, well they were not really room mates seeing as they lived across the hall but they were all usually at each others places so they just said they lived together.

“Hey Gon we got work in an hour let’s go home and take a shower.” Killua said and the boy nodded standing up and walking towards the exit. They had gone to an on campus cafe so the walk back to there dorms wasn’t long and once they were in the door the white haired boy was already just wearing his boxers and was running towards the shower.

Both boys hopped in the shower together as they were comfortable with each other enough to do so as the quickly washed up. About 30 minutes later they had gotten dressed, Killua wearing a pair of black slacks, a white sleeve button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows and a vest over top. Gon wore a pair of black leather booty shorts and a harness on his chest and a pair of black high heals. Killua whistled as he saw the other male slapping his ass playfully.

“Looking hot baby.” He coed into his ear and Gon smirked turning around to fix the boys collar.

“Not as hot as you” he teased, they weren’t in a romantic relationship but they still liked to flirt with each other and they weren’t shy to do so. After Gon had packed his bag and put on a loose fitting t shirt on top of his outfit he made his way to the club Killua next to him.

Gon liked and hated his job all at the same time, he liked to dance that was for sure, he liked the power he felt and the validation he got. What he didactic like was the violence, the women accusing him of turning their husband gay, the cat calling and least of all the owner of the club.

The owner hardly did any work and he was constantly was either drunk or high, or both. He was disrespectful and constantly flirting with everyone. His name is Hisoka. The manger, his husband and Killua’s brother, was much better about respecting boundaries, he didn’t seem to care much about anything but he did the work he needed to. But even Illumi wouldn’t dare stand up to the boss and that made Gon hate him more. Though Killua hated him too as he too was constantly hit on by the older male.

The two of them made their way to work walking as it was only a block away. When the two of them arrived at work Gon turned to the other, placing a soft kiss on his cheek.

“Shot of tequila please” He said and Gon nodded and they both made their way to the bar. Illumi was busy counting the bottles as they had just gotten a new shipment and he stood behind the bar.

Killua poured his friend a shot and he threw his head back downing it in one gulp and Illumi turned around and scoffed.

“Drinking on the job I see” The man said. He wore the same outfit as Killua as it was the uniform and his long black hair was tied into a messy low lying bun his arms crossed as he gave Gon a disapproving glare.

“If you find anyone and I mean anyone who can do this job sober you let me know” Gon said, taking another shot and Killua chuckled.

“He’s got a point,” The white haired boy said, picking up the bottle and putting it back on the shelf. Gon was easily wasted so Killua had to make sure he never got past the point of tipsy, that was his job. “Especially with a handsy boss like ours” He said visibly cringing. Illumi rolled his eyes and went back to counting the bottles. Gon sighed and made his way to the locker room where he put all his stuff putting on an extra layer of deodorant for good measure. He dropped his T-shirt to the ground as he heard someone whistle from behind him, he smirked when he turned around to see who it was, Biscuit stood there in a pink bikini with pink boots.

“Your shoes aren’t gonna cut it” Said a voice from the other side of the locker room as Hanzo said looking down at Biscuit’s shoes that were flat with no heel. He wore no shoes himself, only s black speedo and black tie.

“Oh relax I just walked here in these I have a taller pair in my bag” She said and the bulk man nodded turning away. “Speaking of shoes, Gon did you walk here in those?” She said pointing down at his black pleasers and the green haired boy shrugged.

“Yeah I probably should have done what you did. Oops!” He said sticking his tongue out playfully while hitting himself over the head with his hand as if to say ‘I’m stupid’ and the blonde girl laughed.

The three of them were all strippers and they each were hired to attract a specific crowd. Hanzo was the hunk to attract the ladies and bottoms. Biscuit was the dominatrix to bring in all the kinky fellows and the straight men that drool over her. Gon well he was the twink for lack of s better term. He wasn’t really a twink but that was his persona he was given to attract the gay men. Each of them had their role and each of them fulfilled it perfectly.

All three of them could hear the club filling with people even though it was only 10 this club often got packed before midnight. It was a large building and each stripper had their own stage and own private room, There were 5 bars total as well as lap dance booths. Gon went out onto his stage smiling and waving as he waited for the music to start. Once the music began he began walking around the pole that sat in the center of the stage. He heard a few whistles and he nearly gagged as he caught sight of some of the men.

Gon began to swing his hips in time with the music popping to the side with each drop of the beat. He heard a voice from the audience telling him to hurry up and take his pants off and he scoffed as he never went all the way pantsless though he did often do a strip tease but he decided against it that day.

Gon began to pick up the pace swinging his hips before dropping it down and back up earning a hoot for the audience and it made him feel more powerful as he let the music overtake him completely moving with it and letting his instincts take over. He danced for about 30 minutes before he was told someone had requested a private dance and he nodded blowing a kiss to the crowd as the crew came to sweep the stage of all his earnings. He used a towel to dry his sweat as he made his way to the private room.

When he entered the room he saw a short heavy set man with a blue shirt on and a pair of jeans and he wore a cocky smile. “Hi I’m Tonpa! What’s your name sweetheart?” he said and Gon had to resist wincing at the nickname.

“Gon” He said with a fake smile plastered on his face and the man nodded with a grin.

Gon got started on his dance and was doing well for the first 5 minutes or so before the man started getting handsy and Gon politely reminded him there was no touching which he apologized and they continued for 15 more minutes with no incident, then he spoke.

“Well Gon, how much for a fuck?” He asked and the young man shook his head.

“I’m a dancer not a prostitute” He said and the older man brushed the side of his face.

“Come on baby I know you want it” He said kissing his cheek and Gon tried to pull away but found himself pinned against the wall.

“Hey get off of me! Secu-” He tried to call for security but the heavy set man covered his mouth with his sweaty palms.

“Shhh baby don’t fight it” Tonpa said as he slid his hand Gon’s shorts gripping his flaccid member, his other hand still against his mouth and his body pinning him against the wall. “Come on get it up for me baby”

He glared at the man as if to say ‘no way’ and that made Tonpa angry as he squeezed the other’s member hard and he let out a groan of pain.

‘This is it’ Gon thought fear rising in his chest as the man in front of him violated him. ‘This is what it has come too’ He thought, struggling to get out of the man's grasp but unable too. Tears well up in his eyes as he closed them tight when he felt another squeeze.

Just then the door swung open and in walked Killua looking at his phone “Hey Gon you were taking a while so I came to check-” he froze as it took a second for him to process what was happening. “Oh hell nah, SECURITY!!” He yelled and a buff man came storming in.

“Sir get your hands off of him” He said but Tonpa didn’t move and only smirked.

“It’s alright, he consented” He tried to plead but Killua would not have it and neither would the security guard who was now drawing his gun.

“I said hands off” He said and with that the man backed off Gon falling to the ground trying not to sob as he didn’t want to seem weak.

“It’s fine he consented, right?” He said the last word at Gon asking but at the same time telling him that he better lie. Gon gulped not wanting to admit he was weak enough to be taken advantage of.

“No I didn't,” He said, regaining his bravery. He stood tucking himself back in and rushing to Killua’s side.

“You little-” He began to lunge towards Gon only to be tackled to the ground and cuffed by the security guard. Killua led the still shaking Gon out of the room and through the crowd. The male was crying and leaning against his friend as they walked, most people didn’t notice, a few were looking at him with concern. The two made it into the locker room and met with Hanzo who was freshening up.

“Hey! Oh… What happened?” He asked and Killua looked at gon who shook his head in response, not able to bring himself to say anything.

“It was nothing” Killua said as he took off Gon’s shoes sliding on his T-shirt “We are going home” He said helping the barefoot male to his feet who shook his head.

“I can still work” He said wiping his tears trying to act tough and not seem weak

“I don’t care if you can, you’re not going to” Said Killua who got his bag out of the locker “come on baby let’s go home” Gon winced at the name baby and Killua couldn’t help but notice rage burning in his chest at the man who did this.

Hanzo was left confused and worried about the young man and was about to ask around what happened when he heard Biscuit entered frantically.

“Gon? Oh there you are! Are you ok? Did a guy really fondle you?” She asked and Gon nodded.

“Biscuit we are leaving now please give him some space” Killua said leaving the dressing room “I’m gonna tell my brother we are leaving, you wait outside ” Gon nodded and headed outside to a little bench. Killua joined him moments later and they walked off into the night.


	2. Money

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot can happen in just a few days!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow so this is an incredibly personal chapter as while the trauma is different, the reaction to the trauma is the same and the thoughts surrounding it so please be nice!!

Killua opened the door to the apartment leading the shaky Gon inside, setting him down on the couch. He was angry but he kept his cool not wanting to add anymore drama to Gon’s life right now and that included finding this guy and beating him up. Truth is he could have beat the man up instead of calling security but he didn’t want to lose his job so he didn’t.

“You want another shower? You’re covered in sweat” He said and it was true Gon was practically soaked. Gon nodded and the white haired boy led him to the shower setting him on the tile floor and stripping the both of them “I’ll wash you just relax ok?” He said turning on the water and grabbing the body wash, squirting it onto a washcloth and rubbed the soap around in the cloth.

Killua soaped the other male up whispering words of encouragement as he did so, he rinsed him off and sat on the shower floor with him pulling him into a tight hug against his chest. They sat there for a while Gon crying silently Killua telling him it’s ok and he was safe.

Gon felt so weak, not only was he not able to protect himself despite having good fighting skills he also was crying about it even though it didn’t go very far and it could have been worse he was still crying like some little baby. Why didn’t he fight? He could have, right? Then why did his body freeze? Was it because he was scared? Or because he wanted it? The questions filled his head but he pushed them away, he didn’t want to think about it and so he avoided it 

Gon had stopped crying but it wasn’t because he was all cried out, no he had numbed himself completely he had gotten good at it over the years. He knew it wasn’t healthy but it worked for him, he effectively numbs all emotions and puts on a brave face, he pushes his issues down and says he’ll deal with them later, though he never actually did deal with them. It was the same thing he did when he found out his father left him for a work opportunity, something he claims doesn’t affect him but in reality he now had many issues that could be linked back to that event though Gon never connected those dots however.

“Gon?” Killua asked as Gon went limp against his shoulder and he shook him slightly before the male woke up and Killua chuckled shaking his head “Let’s get you to bed hmm?” He said picking up the boy and setting him on the counter drying him off and carrying him to his bed.

“Can I borrow your pj’s?” He asked, Gon didn’t own any pajamas because he always slept naked and the fact that he wasn’t comfortable sleeping in his birthday suit hur Killua’s heart.

“Yeah of course” He said handing him a pair of black pajamas and Gon changed into them climbing into bed “Good night” Killua said deciding not to call him baby again after the last reaction. 

“Night” He said, curling up in a ball falling asleep. Killua walked out of the room and sat down in the living room watching TV for a few hours sighing as there was a knock at the door and he opened the door to see Hanzo.

“Hanzo? Wait, are you off work? What time is it?” He said looking at the clock to see it was already 3 am “Well shit, what do you need?” 

“Well I came to give you Gons earnings tonight, and well word got around about what happened and well people started tipping him even after he left” He said placing 3 large duffle bags on the floor and Killua’s jaw dropped.

“Gon’s asleep but uh want to come in and help me count? I’m watching TV too” He said and Hanzo nodded.

“Sure but there are two more in my car” And the male was speechless “I’ll go get them, get me a bear” He said turning and walking back out to his car while Killua got him a bear and unzipped one of the bags seeing mostly ones and started counting.

Hanzo came back and the two of them sat and counted for hours on end only managing to get through 3 of the 5 bags before falling asleep. 

The next morning Gon woke up to see Killua not in his bed heading out into the kitchen to pour himself a glass of water and he turned around to see Hanzo passed out on the couch and Killua sitting on the floor leaning against the couch. Gon’s eyes fell on the mounds of money and a small sheet of paper with tally marks on it. Gon figured it was Hanzo’s money probably collected up for months before he finally decided to count it all. He rolled his eyes and picked up the beer bottles with a clank which woke Killua up.

“Gon? Is that you?” He said and gon smiled down at him. 

“Yeah you left beer everywhere so I’m cleaning up, what do you want for breakfast?” He asked, throwing the bottles away and heading towards the kitchen.

“Well do you see all this money here? Or are you blind?” Killua asked, gesturing towards two neatly stacked piles and one messy pile.

“I see it, Hanzo’s right?” He asked and Killua shook his head causing Gon to pause, Killua didn’t get paid that much so it couldn’t be his, but Gon only worked for an hour last night there was no way he got that much money in one hour.

“It’s yours! Word got around the club last night and everyone pitched in Hanzo brought the money by around 3 am and we fell asleep counting and we still have that pile” He said pointing to the messy pile and Gon’s jaw dropped walking towards the paper with tally marks on it.

“Is each tally for $100?” He asked as he finished counting “That’s $30,000!” He said excitedly. On a good night Gon made around $2,500 and on average $1,000. 

“No each tally is for $1,000” He said with a smirk “That's $300,000” Killua said with a smile as Gon got a huge smile plastered on his face before he began to bounce up and down “Sit down goofball and keep counting” He said and the two did so counting until 10 am.

“Alright the total count is $507,643” Killua said and Gon practically jumped feet into the air squealing so loudly that it woke up Hanzo.

“Huh? What’s up?” He asked looking around “Oh hi Gon, sleep well?” He asked while Gon was busy stacking his money up back into the duffle bags.

“Hanzo can you drive us to the bank?” Gon asked and he nodded.

“Uh yeah sure! How much did we get anyway?” He asked and Gon gave him a cheeky grin.

“$507,643” He said and Hanzo grinned patting him on the back.

“Congratulations man,” He said, helping to pack the money into duffles.

“Careful going to the bank with duffel bags of money, you might get the police called on you” Killua said and they all laughed, he also helped out till all the money was packed away.

“Alright we’re off now! See you later!” Gon said and Killua shrugged shooing him out the door.

“Yeah, yeah ok but don’t come back without coffee Mr. Rich” He said and Gon smirked.

“Did someone say money?” Came a voice across the hallway as Leorio happened to be walking out of his apartment with a cheeky grin.

“Hey Leorio! Here!” He said handing him s thousand dollars making the slightly older mans jaw drop.

“You’re just giving this to me? Isn’t this what you make a night?” He asked in awe and Hanzo chuckled.

“Well after Gon got molested the whole club wanted to help out” Hanzo said assuming the other knew about the situation that accrued 

“Wait what?” Came a voice from behind Leorio as Kurapika joined them in the hallway closing and locking the door to his apartment “When did this happen?” He asked walking over to Gon who chuckled nervously.

“It’s not that big of a deal, he just grabbed my dick” Gon said trying to diffuse the situation. “Anyway-“

“No it’s a big deal! No one should be violated like that” Said Leorio who was patting Gon’s shoulder.

“Part of the job I guess” Gon said feeling all his emotions of shame rise through his veins. What was he supposed to say? Sure he was attacked but did he really have a right to be upset? Not when there’re people going through much worse. No he had no right not when he froze up like that not when he wanted it.

“Well it shouldn’t be ‘part of the job’ people should be decent” Kurapika said shaking his head and Gon nodded fidgeting with the sleeves of his shirt, technically Killua’s pajamas but it looked like a normal shirt. Killua noticed the nervous habit and stepped in 

“Hey! Leave him alone! Clearly he doesn’t want to talk about it!” He said ushering Hanzo and Gon out the door glaring at the other two who shied away nervously realizing they shouldn’t have said anything.

“Right sorry Killua.” Said Kurapika who stood wearing a white sweat suit and Leorio wore a tux.

“It’s not me you need to apologize to” He said walking back to his dorm but turning back around once he was in the door frame “I need your therapists number, Gon is calm about this all, too calm I think he’s suppressing his feelings again and we remember what happened last time” He said and Kurapika nodded writing it down for the male and sighed.

“Well I’m going to the gym” He said, picking up a bag with all his stuff in it and walking out. Leorio followed.

“I’m going the same way, I have class” He said Leorio was studying to become a doctor and was taking a lot of classes at the same time so he often had to jump from one to the other. Kurapika was trying to become a detective.

Killua sat on the couch with his phone in hand looking to see 27 missed calls from his father. You see his father owned a law firm and he was expected to take over the family business but he just didn’t want to. Illumi was given his job to spy on the white haired boy and while Illumi denied it it was the only reason why he would take the job as manager of the club. He was also a lawyer at the same time which seemed like a lot of work but he did it with ease. His father began to call again and this time he answered.

“Hello father” He said and his father sighed in relief that the boy answered.

“So I heard you are not going to your law classes at all even though I pay for them” He said in an annoyed tone but kept his cool.

“Oh yeah I decided I don’t want to be a lawyer” Killua said and his father growled.

“The deal was you go to law school and I pay for your stupid technical theatre classes but if you are not taking your law classes then you have no need for any others I suppose” He said with a sneer and just at that moment he got a message on his phone that Gon had put the money in their shared bank account.

“Yeah I don’t need your money I’ve got my own” He said and his dad froze unsure what to say.

“You think you have enough for another 2 years of college? You are even more stupid then I thought” He chuckled knowing exactly how much his son makes through Illumi.

“You forget I have friends” He said with a smirk and his father growled into the phone

“You are nothing but a-” He began but was cut off when Killua hung up the phone not wanting to be harbored on.

An hour or so passed and Gon came home Hanzo having just dropped him off. He was met with an angry looking Killua and Gon looked at him confused.

“What’s wro-” Gon began getting cut off by his friend.

“You put the money in the shared account? I thought that was for emergencies only in case one of us go broke!” He said and Gon nodded confidently 

“Yes I did! With the way you took care of me last night it was really helpful, you earned this money, it’s pity money anyway who cares where it goes” He said and Killua froze at the mention of pity money. He hadn’t thought about it like that but it was true and he just now realized that Gon might not like the fact he was getting so much pity.

“You're right, I'm sorry,” Killua said and Gon nodded handing him his coffee.

“As requested” He said and Killua simply smiled.

God he was so lucky

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave a comment!!!


	3. Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We find out the truth behind all that money. Killua starts to realize he may like Gon more than a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit shorter sorry about that!! Anyway enjoy!!

The day went by fairly quickly the two of them had history class in the afternoon then Gon made chicken and rice for dinner and the two of them watched TV and goofed around all day. The two of them didn’t like to take life too seriously when they were together and enjoyed just having fun, Gon was like this all the time but Killua was only like this when he was with Gon.

“Gon, I need to talk to you about something,” Killua said with gritted teeth and Gon paused the TV turning to listen to the male.

“What’s up?” He asked with a smile and Killua swallowed.

“I think you should go to a therapist, I set up an appointment and I’d like it if you went” He said and Gon froze.

“You want me to go to therapy? But why? I’m fine!” He said with a smile.

“You bottle up your feelings and then you blow up, remember what happened last time?” He said and Gon nodded.

“I’ll try it but can you come with me? Just for the first session?” He asked and Killua smiled.

“Of course baby!” He said holding the other’s hand “I’m here for you!”

“And I’m here for you!!” Gon said with a smile 

The two of them sat and watched TV for a while and Killua rubbed Gon’s back massaging his knots from dancing.

Gon smiled kissing Killua’s cheek softly “Thanks babe” He said thanking him for the back rub and with that he got up from the couch going into his room. He was gone for a few minutes before coming back out with his bag and plopping it on the couch “Come on we got work soon” He said and Killua groaned walking into his room to get dressed.

Once the two of them were ready they began to walk to work chatting all the while, Gon had remembered his extra pair of shoes this time so he wore flip flops and a trench coat hiding his outfit that Killua hadn’t even seen.

“Come on what are you wearing?” He asked trying to get a peek but Gon held the coat closed giggling.

“It’s a surprise!” He said and Killua pouted overdramatically like a begging puppy.

“I wanna see!!” He whined and Gon swatted him away.

“And you will” He said pausing to get the others hopes up “Tonight, on stage” He said with a laugh at how Killua slumped as he walked.

They arrived at the club to find Hisoka in the front of the building unlocking the doors and the two of them cringed at the man's smile as he not so discreetly checked them out.

“Hello boys” Said the redhead, his hair falling perfectly framing his face. He was handsome for sure but his personality was less attractive. “Good to see you, Gon are you feeling better?” He asked and the young man gave a curt nod.

“Much better thank you” He said trying to walk past him but he body-blocked them from entering.

“Did you enjoy my present?” He asked and Gon raised an eyebrow.

“What present?” He asked and Hisoka smirked

“You didn’t really think a club this size would produce that much money for one striipper did you?” He said with a smirk. “500,000 was from me, the other 7,000 that was from the club” He said and Gon was grinning ear to ear.

“Why are you so happy Gon?” Killua asked, a little confused.

“Because he enjoyed my gift” Said the tall man with a confident smile.

“No it’s cause most of the money isn’t pity money after all it’s ‘let me in your pants’ money which is way better” He said walking past Hisoka who had absentmindedly shifted out of the way.

“Is it?” Killua asked, raising an eyebrow sarcasm hinting his voice.

Gon paused to think and shrugged “Maybe not but I like it better” and Killua laughed also walking past Hisoka who looked hurt the other wasn’t thanking him.

Later when it was time for him to go on stage he walked out wearing a T-shirt and black skinny jeans and the whole crowd booed. But Killua recognized the outfit as Gon’s tear away and smirked knowing the people were in for a surprise.

Gon started his dance and the first thing to come off was his T-shirt revealing a white crop top that barely covered anything, his nipples visible every time he lifted his arms. Which he did a lot just to tease the audience. 

Damn he looked hot. 

Killua smirked as he watched the pants get ripped off next to reveal a white speedo topped with a blue and white school girl skirt that had the whole crowd cheering. Killua couldn’t look away from the man as he moved his hips just the right way and he found himself staring instead of doing his work

“Looks like you got a problem there” Said a customer who sat at the bar. He had a baseball cap on shielding any view of his hair.

“Huh?” Killua asked and the man pointed to his crotch “Oh…” He said as he realized he’d gotten boner watching his friend dance. “Ah shit” He said now that his attention was brought to it he felt it painfully press against his pants trying to get free.

“My name's Imori, I can help you with that if you want,” He said with a smirk sipping from his drink. Killua groaned looking at the male shaking his head 

“No thanks” He said and the man nodded.

“Sorry thought you were gay” He said and Killua smiled

“Yeah no I’m not” he said making his way to the bathroom. He wasn’t. Was he? He did just get hard from a dude… but that was because of the skirt right? Right! 

With that conclusion in mind he went to jerk off, moaning deeply as he tried to think of something he didn’t expect. It was an image of Gon riding him and he was shocked but the minute he thought of it he came.

Woah! Was he gay? No, no he couldn’t be, he fucked plenty of girls and had fun doing it. He enjoyed sex with women not men!

He wasn’t gay! Least of all gay for his best friend!

He went back to the bar and Killua tried to forget about what had happened but he couldn’t, he couldn’t shake the feeling.

“Hey uh Imoshi was it?” He asked the guy from earlier still sitting at the bar.

“Imori” He said looking at him, he looked a mess, he was flush and still panting slightly. “It was the stripper huh? First one from a dude?” He asked and Killua nodded.

“He’s my best friend” He said looking up on stage to see him still dancing. “I like women you know? Always have, so why do I suddenly like men?” He asked and Imori leaned over the bar with a smile.

“It doesn’t have to be black and white, men or women, you can have grey, maybe you like both” He said and Killua nodded. maybe he did.

Killua nodded, turning to get back to mixing drinks only to be met with Hisoka who was humming and staring at him.

“How long have you been there?” He asked and his boss chuckled.

“Long enough to know Gon gave you a boner,” He said, leaning against the inside of the bar. “You know, if you want to have a threesome I’m always down” He said with a smirk causing Killua to scoff and turn around which was a mistake because as soon as his back was turned he felt an arm snake around his waist the other grabbing his ass Hisoka pushed he hardened member against his ass “Sweetheart you can’t get away from me” He said grabbing Killua’s dick.

“Hey! Who the hell are you? And why are you touching him like that?” Imori spoke and Hisoka backed off chuckling.

“Just a joke that’s all” He said walking off. Killua didn’t feel phased. Hisoka did this kind of thing all the time and he was used to it, it was an unspoken agreement that Hisoka wasn’t allowed to touch Gon and Killua got most of the harassment Gon only got verbal.

“Who was that?” Imori asked with a sneer as he stared at the man who was now at the other bar.

“My boss,” He said, giving a few people the drinks they asked for.

“Seriously? That’s fucked up” He scoffed looking across the dance floor where a man was drunk and was proposing to Gon “That’s my brother” He chuckled getting up from his seat “Well nice meeting you!” and he ran off 

The rest of the night flew by with the two of them working so hard they had no time to think. By the time the night was over and it was well into the morning and the club was empty the two of them were exhausted.

“Ready to go?” Gon asked from the other side of the bar as Killua washed the last few glasses 

“Almost” He said drying them and putting them back in their place “Alright, lets go” 

They made their way outside and walking to their apartment crashing on the couch 

“Oh that was a lot! I’m exhausted” Gon said, wiping some sweat from his brow. “A cold shower sounds nice right?” He said as he began to strip out of his clothes and Killua found himself watching the young man. It was like seeing the male in a whole new way, he was so… sexy. 

“Uh yeah sounds good, you go on ahead, I’m gonna watch TV” He said and Gon frowned as they always washed up together but he didn’t ask why and ran off to the shower. 

Killua was left to his thoughts and he sighed before turning on the TV. It was clear, gay or not that didn’t really matter what does matter was the fact he liked Gon.

And he had no idea how the other felt about him.  
  
He needed to find out how the other felt but if he asked he could ruin their relationship all together.

Gon came out of the shower and sat on the couch looking at Killua who was lost in thought “Kil? Are you ok? You’re acting weird” He said and the white haired male looked up from his lap with a weak smile 

“Yeah I’m fine, just tired” He said getting up from the couch and walking to the shower for his turn stripping down and washing up.

There was tension in the air and neither knew what to do about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to comment!!


	4. Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning!!! Rape
> 
> This summary is for those who might be triggered reading the in depth chapter but I suggest reading before this summary
> 
> Gon is raped by Hisoka who tells him if he tells anyone he will also rape Killua. He is drugged so he ends up having an orgasm which he reveals was his first and that he wanted to share his first orgasm with Killua. Hisoka leaves him in the private room and a group of men find him and tell all their friends who share him. Chrollo watched most of this go down and reveals to Killua that Gon cried out for him many times. Killua and Hanzo bring Gon to Leorio who starts to give him a bath while Hanzo stayed in the hall. Leorio revealed that there is heavy tearing and bruises but other than that physically he is ok. Killua cries as he sees the person he loves go through so much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah... Sorry about this

The next evening Killua and Gon were on their way to work for the last time this week and they entered the empty club Killua walked to the bar whereas Gon went to the back where Hisoka was waiting for him.

“What do you want?” He asked and the man only smirked, stalking towards him.

“I know you saw me touch Killua'' He said towering over the younger man “You didn’t tell anyone about last night did you?” He asked and Gongrinned.

“Someone tell on your pervy ass?” He was met with a heavy glare from the taller male who’s bloodlust was almost visible. Hisoka then dragged him by the scruff of his collar pulling him into a private room while no one was looking.

“Watch your mouth boy” He said, landing a punch in the boy’s gut causing him to double over in pain. “I said you can’t get away from me, remember? Or did I say that to the other one? Well it seems I need to teach you a lesson hmm?”

Gon coughed and sputtered from the punch glaring up at the man “The hell? What the fu-” His eyes landed on Hisoka’s tight pants as a tent appeared in his crotch. “The fuck? Are you getting off right now? Pervert!!” He yelled standing up and swinging at the man but he easily dodged grabbing his arm and pinning him against the wall.

“Calm down little boy, we both know I’d win in a fight” He said kneeing him in the crotch causing Gon to howl in pain. “I don’t want to fight you,” He said pushing something into Gon’s neck.

“What was that?” He asked, trying to pull away but was unable to, the thing pushed into his neck fell to the ground and he saw it was an empty syringe “Shit… what’d you give me?” He asked with a glare.

“Just a little something to make you feel good,” Hisoka said with a smirk and Gon felt his knees give out as he fell to the floor.

“Fuck you” He said his whole body shaking as he panted. His body felt weak and he could barely move his insides burning up.

“That is the plan” He said, picking up the trembling boy and tossing him on the couch he stalked towards the boy with a smirk across his face as he began unbuttoning his shirt and tossing the cloth to the floor before starting to take off Gon’s shirt as well.

“Don’t touch me you pervert!” He shouted trying to fight back but he was just too weak. “Fuck” He opened his mouth to scream only to be met with the man forcing a tie into his mouth.

“Shh just be quiet and take it like a man.” He said and Gon shook in fear, he had never been more afraid in his life. Not even when Tonpa had attacked him. His heart was pounding out of his chest and tears filled his eyes. Gon hated the fact he was crying and hated even more how weak he felt. Sure he was fighting this time but he still felt weak.

“There you are, cry for me baby” He smirked, stripping him of all his clothes and humming at the sight “Look at you already excited hmm?” Hisoka said as he flicked the younger man's boner. Damn drug. He felt his boss grab his dick causing him to moan and he felt arousal spread through his body.

“Mgh-” He tried to speak but only muffled sounds escaped as Hisoka pulled out his own dick pumping the hard member. 

“Good boy, such a good boy” He said, flipping him on his hands and knees holding him around the waist to hold him upright as he lined up with his entrance starting to push in dry. “So tight~” He moaned and Gon could feel himself tearing as he pushed in his 9 inch cock. The pain and the pleasure mixed together as he pushed all the way in, blood dripping down his thigh from where he had torn. He hated the soft moans that were escaping around the gag, He hated himself for it.

Hisoka fucked into him rough and fast only causing the tear to worsen “MMM Gooonnnn~” He moaned as he jerked off Gon.

He couldn’t believe he was having his virginity taken from him like this and he sobbed as he felt the pleasure rise in his body, his balls tightening as he came all over the couch. His first orgasm. His first one, the one he thought he’d share with someone special. The one he wanted to share with Killua.

“You’re thinking about Killua aren’t you?” He sneered “If you tell anyone what happened here I’ll do the same thing to your precios Killua as I’m doing to you”

Gon froze his member already hard again as he was fucked mercilessly. He couldn’t tell anyone? No he wouldn’t tell anyone. Not with the shame of how weak he was.

The man above him fucked into him for another minute or so before coming in the boys ass with a smirk. “You did good, now rest” He said, stroking his hair as Gon fell into a deep sleep.

“Mmm you are beautiful all worn out like this, goodbye Gon” He said leaving the boy and continuing with his work as the club was now open and already close to full.

Killua noticed about 30 minutes later that he hadn’t seen Gon yet and he began to worry looking around the club finding Hanzo backstage “Have you seen Gon?” He asked and Hanzo stopped to ponder.

“No I haven’t, maybe he went home?” He asked hoping everything was ok.

“No he would have told me first” He said as he began to panic. Where could he be?

“Have you checked the private rooms?” He asked and Killua shook his head rushing to the nearest private room. What he found broke his heart. There Gon was two men jerking off in the corner as the third fucked into the unconscious boy.

“HEY!!” He yelled and they all froze “SECURITY!!!” He shouted and the guard positioned outside the private rooms came rushing in.

“What’s wrong? Oh… damn he can’t catch a break can he?” He said, pulling out a pair of cuffs on the one still inside Gon. When he pulled out a flow of cum came pouring out and much more than the one man.

“Wait you got the wrong idea! We found him like this!” Said one of the man and Killua looked at the man with cold eyes.

“Who else fucked him?” He asked and the guy shook in fear 

“I don’t know! Chrollo was here the whole time though he said pointing to a fourth man that had been hiding in the corner. Out of all of them he looked composed and he didn’t have his dick out

“Yes I was, the one who I believe started this I only saw leaving and I didn’t catch a good glance at his face, all I saw was he was tall and had red hair” He began with a smirk “There have been 14 since then but again don’t know any of their names” He said with a smirk as a guard cuffed him. “He’s been drugged before I got here and was already unconscious but he has woken up a few times” He chuckled “Are you Killua?” Killua nodded “He called out for you so many times, but you never came” He grinned and the guard took him away.

Killua rushed to Gon’s side once the men had been cleared out, tears welling up in his eyes “Damn it!! Who did this to you? Who started this?” He asked and clutched his friend close to his chest “Who do I need to kill?” He asked anger bubbling up inside him.

He pulled the boys clothes back on him and scooped him up as he walked out of the room finding the entire club music shut down, no one was allowed to leave until the culprits were found. Everyone except those cleared of suspicion. 

“What’s going on?” Said a blonde female standing near the edge of the dance floor.

“Some crime or something. We are all suspects” Said a male with her

“What crime?” She asked 

“Apparently someone got raped” Said the guy and she gasped.

“That’s awful!” She said her gaze landing on Gon “Oh my god! He’s unconscious do you think it was him?”

Hanzo came rushing over to Gon and Killua’s side “We’ll take my car” He said and the three of them left out the back door. “He needs medical attention” He said looking at the boy, cum still plastered on his face.

“I think he would want privacy, we should take him to Leorio” He said and Hanzo nodded, leading him to his car and driving back to the apartment complex. Once they arrived they knocked on the door but no one answered.

“Let me call him,” He said, pulling out his phone and pressing the man's number a few times before he picked it up.

“I have a test tomorrow Killua, why are you calling me so late?” He asked groggily 

“We’re outside your door, Gon needs medical attention” He said and with that the door nearly flung open.

“What happened?” He said gesturing for them to lay him on the couch.

“I don’t really know” Said Hanzo and looked at Killua 

“I don’t think he’d want you to know” He said and Leorio sighed

“I need to know exactly what happened if you want me to treat him” He said and Killua nodded

“Some guy raped him and left him, then throughout the night people have been continuing to rape him” He said and Leorio growled.

“That’s sick” He said with a sigh noticing the cum plastered on him in multiple places. “Hanzo could you leave?” He asked and he nodded walking outside

“I’ll wait in the hallway” He said and Killua nodded, turning back to Gon.

Leorio had picked the boy up and carried him to the bath taking of his clothes and putting him in the water “He’s got quite a few nasty tears that will take a while to heal and a few bruises here and there but other than that he should be fine, physically at least”

“Kill!!” Shouted Gon as he sat up from the bath, panting “Killua save me!”

“I’m here Gon, I’m right here” He said grabbing his hand gently “I got you, you’re safe” He said and Gon drifted back to sleep

And Killua cried. Seeing his friend… no his love like this making him burst into tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So again leave a comment please!! Was this too in depth for you guys?


	5. Update

Recently I have received multiple death threats on account of this story, normally I wouldn't be bothered by something like this but on this story in particular it bothers me.

This story from the very beginning has been something I've been working on with my therapist. This story is what I am using to process and heal from childhood sexual abuse.

This is very personal and I choose to share it with the world and now this.

I spent hours crying and shaking because of writing this but it was helping me heal even if slowly.

I do not know when or if I will be continuing to post

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave a comment and tell me what you think!!


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